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Help! My Kids Don’t Listen to Me! 
5 keys to create better listening in your home.


Do you feel like you’re talking to the wall when you speak to your kids? How many times do you have to tell your kids something before you get them to listen to you?

When parents repeat the same thing over and over each day – “pick up your laundry,” “don’t leave your shoes in middle of the hallway,” “do your homework!” “stop bothering your sister” or “get into bed now!” – it’s no wonder you experience a sense of defeat. Children tune us out. Teens and pre-teens test limits. And parents don’t like dealing with the consequences, the discipline, and the negative emotions. We’re stressed and tired, and think it’s simpler to just let things slide, forgetting that these issues will only grow larger.

How can we be more effective in our parenting?

Here are 5 keys to create better listening in your home:

1. Don’t be afraid that your kids won’t like you.

When we fear our children’s anger and tantrums we hold back on discipline. The result is that our words are not taken seriously. Seeing unhappy kids can make us feel unsuccessful as parents. We give in because we are afraid that our children won’t like us or that they will voice opinions about us that are too painful to hear. Wanting happy homes and happy kids, we surrender. Instead of showing firmness, parents grow soft and respond to a child with “Okay, five more minutes, one more cookie…” Our children have learned that with the right tone, tantrum, or pleading they win. Their silent treatment, tears and whining break our resolve. Of course they won’t listen. Why should they? We have failed to communicate respect for our words. Toughen up. Stop being afraid that your kids won’t like you. They’ll come to respect you.

2. Act. Don’t React.

How often do problems occur because we were not specific with our kids or ignored a situation that got out of hand? When children understand what is expected from them we avoid confrontations and feeling as if we are not being listened to. For example: a grandmother I know told me that she was worried sick waiting up for her teenaged grandson who was staying with her on vacation in Florida. The moment he came home at 1 a.m. she screamed at him, called his parents and gave him a stiff punishment. When questioned, the grandmother informed me that all she had said to her grandson before he left was, “Don’t come home too late.” To this teen, no rules were broken; 1 a.m. is a normal time to return.

How much pain would have been avoided if the adults in this family would have acted by setting clear limits and times instead of reacting to this boy’s late return? If only the rules would have been clearly explained beforehand, confrontation and feelings of being ignored would never have occurred.

3. Don’t Pyramid Parent

Allowing a child to perceive that it is him plus one parent against another parent is called ‘pyramid parenting’. One parent should never be thought of as the opposing figure. When mother and father are not on the same side and one becomes allied with the child, both parents lose. The child observes division. He translates this as weakness. Respect and honor for parents become diminished as the child plays one parent against the other. Neither parent will be effective because the child knows that there will be discussions and even arguments when discipline comes into the picture. Parents who do not display a united front teach children that it is possible to divide and conquer. Children who recognize that their parents make decisions in harmony will realize that it is unthinkable to go against one parent’s wishes or words and find support from an opposing parent.

4. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Some parents spend half their life saying: “If you push your brother one more time…”’ “If you talk like that to me again…” but nothing changes. The child just does the same action again because he knows that we simply give empty threats. True, some parents blow up, scream, yell, and get enraged. So what? Losing it does not mean that we are being effective. After a while, parents get tuned out. If you keep dealing with the same issue over and over again it is time to address it. Not by losing control. We cannot parent out of rage. Rather, we must think about effective discipline and follow through on our words. Mothers and fathers who lack consistency are perceived as weak.

5. Get Rid of the Distractions

If we are speaking to our children while having one eye on the screen in front of us, we fail to convey that we are serious about our relationship with them. I was recently asked: if you had one piece of parenting advice to give, what would it be? I replied, “Get off your phone.” Look around. What do you see? I watch as families believe that they are spending quality time together but in reality everyone is either texting or checking Instagram. We have lost a vital connection with our loved ones, especially our children.

After watching us speak to them with half an ear and half an eye they have come to realize that we are distracted parents. Our bodies may be present but our minds are absent. We are missing out and there is no way to make up for all the time and opportunity that have passed us by. When our sons and daughters see that they are indeed being looked at and heard, our relationship with them will reach a whole new level. For our words to be listened to, we must try to build a connection. Until we do, fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters, will be sitting next to one another but living worlds apart.

We have the ability to raise children who listen to our words. Parents who display a united front, are clear and consistent, and show children that they are a priority will forge a relationship based on respect and deep love. The time to start is now.


What’s Next?

Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., CLC, SDS       

Are you a list person? I can't imagine that anyone isn't -after all how do they get anything done ?  What in the world do they depend on as a reminder?  Their Memory??!!

I have always opted for recording it somewhere? Ahh the sweet security of getting it on to my list. It's as good as done. Which of course is also the problem? Because once you've got it committed to the list, you are tempted to go ahead and do everything else! 

The other day I was walking down the street and noticed a piece of paper on the sidewalk. Though laden with packages, I'd imagined it was some interesting love note and couldn't resist picking it up. Then I realized it was even more important. It was someone's "grocery list". No one would abandon that! It was too clean to have been discarded.  Now that poor person would be mentally tortured trying to envision, every space in their pantry, shelf in their fridge, and request made by each family member, along with the new recipes they were trying out, to even begin to touch on what they needed in the house.  

And if it was someone's husband, who was assigned to pick up the groceries, he'd probably be somewhere dripping with perspiration or trepidation trying to figure out how to proceed now -call or improvise and hope for the best! 

I decided to be a hero-I was going to the supermarket anyway, so I bought everything on the paper and returned it to the spot where I found the list. I figured good chance they'd return to find their paper and would be euphoric about the turn of events; and if not, some other lucky passerby would benefit. Either way I was feeling really really good----that is -until I noticed I had spent all the extra cash I had on me, on it.  It was not necessarily the most money in the world, however I realized now I was in big trouble - because going to the -Bank-was Not On My-List - for that day!!! 

I have lists everywhere. On papers, in notebooks, on my iPad. I need a list just to keep track of where I have lists. And of course I have one ready to go on my night stand.  After all, how else could one get through the night? 

My Mom wrote a book entitled “Live, Love, Laugh, and other things I Do Before Breakfast" she thinks of it as a Title. I think of it as her early morning instruction list. 

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of things I need to do. I feel I can't go back to sleep until I make a note of it. Then I come up with a brilliant idea, a mnemonic for remembering. Fix the faucet, Listen to my voice mail, Open an account, Write an article. "FLOW" = fix, listen, open, write. I repeat it a few times.  Now how to remember the word flow? Let the ideas "flow" back into my head. That's good.  I can go back to sleep.  

Morning rears its head.  I am psyched. I totally remember the word Flow.  Here we go ...F - F- fix. - Yes, wow I am good!  Fix what? Fixxxx what? What did I remember was broken. Ok- try L. L- Listen, yup, listen -to my original instincts. O, O,- Ooh my gosh I should have written it down on the note pad on the night stand like I planned in the first place!!!  

It's good I never got to the W in "FLOW". I'd be there forever thinking W -Wa Wa. I'd never get the word Write from that. It's more like W for W-hat in the world was I thinking? 

Lists are the most important organizing tool we have. Some use their calendars, others a memo pad, some even risk recording it to memory, but rarely does one function without any.   

After all, So much of our sense of achievement derives from making those little tick offs, check marks, cross outs, whatever. We are total suckers for it. 

In fact in going for my coaching license I learned the valuable lesson that one should always make at least one daily list verses that endless - to do - list.  That's because you'll never feel really accomplished if you can never get your whole list done! What a great feeling to cross every single thing out - at least for the 10 seconds before you feel the need to start one again!!! 

Well, I've got to go now, sending this in for print is next on my list!!! 

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or<



in memory of Malka Feiga bat Nosson 

Inspired by Tzipora Harris


 “Please G-d, let me partner with You and go beyond my constrictions to a place of expansiveness. Everything that happens is part of Your perfect training & development program for me. Help me respond in the most noble way- help me judge favorably, have compassion, let go of having to be in control and give it over to You, G-d. Please bless me with an amazing year of walking with YOU.”

1.      G-D, You have an incredible vision for all of humanity and for me. I want to fulfill Your vision of greatness for me more and more. Please show me what I most need to see gently.

2. I want to recognize the gifts in my life and see the totality of the life You gave me, the blessings and the challenges, as an expression of Your love. Please fill my heart with gratitude.

3. I want to transcend my greatest obstacles to fulfill Your vision for me. Please help me partner with You and go from a place of constraints to a place of expansiveness.

4. Please bless me with all the resources I need to fulfill Your vision for me. (health, clarity, relationships,  a job, place to live etc.)

5. I want to make You King by living myself more according to Your Definition of reality and Your instructions for living. Please guide me.

6. I resolve that I want to be connected to You, G-D, as the source of my wellbeing in life. And not rely on ANYTHING or ANYONE else. Please help me remember that no one else has power.

7. I resolve that this moment is the dawn of a new era in my life.

I stand before You, the Creator of the Universe, my loving Father, I look at the Rosh Hashanah prayer and of course I want to be connected to You as the source of all life, and be the beautiful person You created me to be; I definitely don’t want any of the mistaken choices of the past to stand in the way.  Please help me repair whatever needs fixing.  I want this year to be greater than any year I’ve ever had and I want to be a bigger person than I’ve ever been. Not just for my own sake but for the Jewish people and humanity. Please help me ask for the right things and help me understand Your loving answers.

I want today to be the dawn of a new era in my life.

G-d, You know what I’m facing inside and outside, please help me. “ 

The Five Towns Community Services

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If you would like to speak, host or receive emails please contact:

Chana Epstein- 295-2537,

Chana Bienstock-569-4077 or Marcia Behar 374-0741-



If you would like to speak, host or receive emails please contact:Chana Bienstock-569-4077-

Marcia Behar 374-0741-Chana Epstein- 295-2537

A Kesivah V’chasima Tova 5774/2013-14



Jan 4/3 Shvat–Bo- Zev and Yola Ash, 413 Marlborough Rd., Ced

Jan 11/10 Shvat-Beshalach-Yossi and Elaine Farber, 333 Buckingham Ct., Ced

Jan 18/17 Shvat–Yitro-Elliot and Miriam Safer, 390 Arbuckle Ave., Ced

Jan 25/24 Shvat-Mishpatim-.Chaim and Rina Halbfinger, 324 Buckingham, Ced

Feb 1/1Adar I-Terumah-Alan and Shuly  Rubel 254 Oakwood Ave. Ced

Feb 8/8 Adar I-Tetzaveh- Robert and Esti Levinson,  444 Argyle Rd., Ced

Feb 15/15 Adar I- KiTisa- Don and Hedi Well, 484 Argyle Rd., Ced

Feb 22/22 Adar I- Vayachel-Chaim and Michelle Grosser, 386 Barnard Ave., Ced

March 1/29 Adar I-Perkudei- Stuie and Tzippy Nussbaum, 508 Redwood Ced


Mar 8/6 Adar II- Vayikrah- David and Simone Greenbaum, 571 Albermale Pl., Ced

March 15/13 Adar II – Tzav- Zvi and Malky Nathan, 421 Rugby, Ced

March 22/20 Adar II- Shemini –Zev and Evy Guttman, 588 Park Ave. Ced.

March 29/27 Adar II – Tazriah –Dovid and Shoshana Kestenbaum, 366 Summit, Ced

April 5/5 Nissan – Metzorah – Yehuda and Malya Kunstler, 346 Forest Ave., Wdmr

Wishing you a kosher and fraylichen Pes

Young Israel of Lawrence-Cedarhurst

Women's Iyun Tefila Shiur















Rebbetzin Weinberger's Shiur

Rebbetzin Weinberger's shiur for women will resume on Tuesday, October 15/11 Cheshvan at 11:00 a.m. 


Ohel Sara Amen Group in memory of Sarit Marton a'h
The "Ohel Sara" Amen Group
in memory of Sarit Marton a'h
This week's shiurim and chabura schedule:
The "Ohel Sara" Amen Group
in memory of Sarit Marton a'h
cordially invites all women to attend our
Spring Learning Series. 

This week's Shiurim & Chabura  schedule
is as follows:

Sunday, May 4, 2014
9:30 AM   Chabura - Garden of Emunah
Monday, May 5, 2014
9:15 AM    Chabura - Hilchos Brachos
9:30 AM    Rabbi David Fohrman
1:00 PM    Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller - The Maharal of Prague
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
  9:15 AM   Chabura - Rav Schwab on Tefilah
10:00 AM   Rabbi Tzvi Flaum - Chumash
11:15 AM   Rabbi Tzvi Flaum - Pirke Avos
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
9:15 AM    Chabura - Rabbi Eric Coopersmith - Teleconference
1:00 PM    Mrs. Chavi Alpert - The Gra
2 Forest Lane
Lawrence, NY
Entrance on Broadway
There is no admission charge to attend any of our programs or shiurim





Sunday, March 2, 2014 - ROSH CHODESH ADAR BEIS

8:15 AM   Brachos
9:00 AM   Hallel
9:30 AM   Rabbi Yossi Wallis, CEO of Arachim


Monday, March 3, 2014 - ROSH CHODESH ADAR BEIS

8:15 AM   Brachos
9:00 AM   Hallel
9:30 AM   Rabbi Dani Staum





Rabbi Fohrman's Shiur- New Time

Rabbi David Forhrman's Genesis Unveiled series resumes this Saturday evening, February 8th. Please note the new time of 7:15pm.


The AIPAC program, From Woodmere to Washington will follow the class at 8:30pm. 



Esti Stahler

Parshat Tzav

Parshat Vayishlach

Parshat Lech Lichah

Parshat Noach 2012 


Parshat Breishit 2012, Parshat Nitzavim/Vayelech  Parshat Naso Parshat Behaalotchah Parshat Shlach



Rabbi Eytan Feiner
Rav Meir Goldvicht'halotcha.mp3'halotcha.pdf
Shira Smiles -massey-the-grand-scheme.mp3
Past Shiurim at Ohel Sara Amen Group
Second Anniversary Program 2007
Rabbi Dovid Weinberger on Sarit Marton's Yahrtzeit Dedication:
Midos, December 4, 2007

Rabbi Nissel on Tefilah, November 2007 Topic
Rebbetzin Shira Smiles, December 2007 Topic
Debbie Greenblatt, Michtav M'Eliyahu: Midat Harachamim, October 15, 2007
Debbie Greenblatt, Michtav M'Eliyahu: Midat Harachamim, October 22, 2007
Debbie Greenblatt, Michtav M'Eliyahu: Midat Harachamim, October 31, 2007
Esther Wein and Rachel Baron: Chahashemesh L'Yaakov, July 31, 2006
Esther Wein Musaf Rosh Hashanah September 6, 2006
Rabbi Mordechai Sitorsky September 2006
Rabbi Mordechai Sitorsky on Rosh Chodesh Tammuz, June 26, 2006
Rebbetzin Sara Meisels Rosh Chodesh Elul Divrei Bracha 2006
Rebbetzin Abbey Lerner Rosh Chodesh Iyar 2006
Rabbi Dovid Weinberger on thefirst of Chanukah 2007presenting the Sefer Middos
2nd Anniversary of the "Ohel Sara" Amen Group
Rebbetzin Judy Young a'h speaking at a Rosh Chodesh Elulprogram in Great Neck

Mitzvah Blessings

Sundays only at 8:15am at 386 Felter Avenue, Hewlett.
Women gather to recite and hear at least 100 morning blessings so as to fulfill the mitzvah of doing so. If you know of someone who is ill, please feel free to call and provide the group with the Hebrew name, so that those who are present may pray for him or her. Haidee Blumenthal (516)295-5431

Beryl Wein
Beryl Wein - Click here for this Week's Parshah
Local Mikvehs
Congregation Mikveh of South Shore, 1156 Peninsula Boulevard, Hewlett (516)569-5514
Hebrew Community Service Mikvah, 1121 Sage Street, Far Rockaway (718)327-9727
For Jewish Holidays Only: Aish Kodesh Mikvah. Woodmere Boulevard in Woodmere. Speak with Sandy Polansky to make a reservation. (516)459-2298
Congregation Bais Medrash. 504 West Broadway, Cedarhurst. Speak with Rebbetzin Spiegel(516)569-1971
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Hewlett Woodmere Library - 1125 Broadway, Hewlett 516-374-1967
Peninsula Public Library - 280 Central Avenue, Lawrence 516-239-3262 l
Children's Movies: Sunday at 2:00pm
Story Time: Mondays at 4:15 pm (3-5 Year Olds) - a half hour program of stories and a short film.
Book Discussions: Tuesdays at 6:30 pm (Grades 4 - 7)
Registration - January 12
Program: February 10
The Theif Lord By: Cornelia Funke
Registration - February 9
Program: March 24
To Be Announced
Toddler Time: Thursdays at 10:30am (24 - 35 months) - A lively half-hour of songs, stories, fingerplays, movement and a short film for a child accompanied by an adult.
Mother Goose: Fridays at 10:00 am (12-23 months) - Programs of songs, finger plays, nursery rhymes and board books for very young readers accompanied by a parent or caregiver.
Parent-Child Workshop: Thursdays at 10:00-11:15 (12-35 months)
A special program that encourages parents to play, sing and do finger plays with their children. Specialists in the fields of Speech and Hearing, Behavior and Development, Nutrition, and Dance/Movement are available at various sessions. Registration is required and is being accepted in the children's room.
Book Talking with Arnold Rosenbaum: Wednesdays at 1:00pm
The Defining Moment - FDR's First Hundred Days and the Triumph of Hope by Jonathan Alter. January 31
Economic Problems Facing the Middle Class .Mr. Rosenbaum will present his thoughts on the socioeconomic problems facing the American middle class. March 14
If Music Be The Food of Love...Shakespeare In Love: Sunday, January 7 at 2:30pm. New York jazz vocalist Christiana Drapkin celebrates the beauty and power of William Shakespeare's poetry and presents it in lively, sometimes haunting, jazz arrangements. The songs are direct quotations from Shakespeare's plays. Tickets required.
Picasso and American Art: Monday, January 8 at 1:00 pm. Picasso is acknowledged by many as the central figure of the modern movement. Art historian Mary Vahey will examine the sometimes worshipful, sometimes testy relationship between American artists and the Picasso, the immensely inventive Spaniard.
A Rockette Remembers: Wednesday, January 17 at 1:00pm. Corliss Whitney, the honorary historian of the Rockette Alumnae, shares poignant stories about her years as a Rockette during the 40's and 50's.
Laugh Your Way to Health - Humor Therapy: Wednesday, January 24 at 1:00pm. A presentation that will focus on the latest studies that scientifically prove and explain how and why laughter IS the best medicine.
Berman Does Merman: Sunday February 4 at 2:30pm. Songs and stories celebrating Ethel Mermans brilliant career will be brought to PPL by vocalist Lisa Berman. Tickets required.
India...Exotic and Ancient Land of Contrasts: Thursday, February 8 at 1:00pm. Through lecture and slides, Sally Wendkos Olds will guide you on a journey to another world of exotic beauty and ancient splendor.
Great Lyricists and/or Poets: Wednesday, February 14 at 1:00pm. Arnie Rosenbaum will share the poetic lyrics of Ira Gershwin, Alan J. Lerner and Larry Hart. You decide if the great lyricists of the 20th century really were master poets.
Louis Comfort Tiffany and Laurelton Hall - An Artists Country Estate: Monday, March 19 at 1:00pm. Ines Powell, Metropolitan Museum of Art educator, will present an illustrated lecture which will bring together many of the architectural elements and design features of Tiffany's extraordinary country estate in Oyster Bay.